When relationships end, a new beginning will unfold, but, it is not always as easy. Before a new horizon shines, one will have to deal with a very cold, stark and dark past. Memories of your once sweet story will toxify your heart, mind and soul until you get fed and realize that your life is not all about loving someone you now call an "ex".
Let us bring back your fond memories. Maybe, you were childhood friends, college buddies, workmates or tinder dates, regardless, however, your love story started with unsuspecting "hi's" and "hello's". Maybe, it took years, months or weeks, not to mention days, to develop your feeling for each other and that sense of feeling is not at all to be concluded as only fleeting. Maybe, you have sipped through hot and cold coffees, together you've exchanged funny childhood experiences, shared jokes of all sorts, and told every piece of promise that a life without her is but empty. Maybe, you have travelled together in places as friends or as would-be lovers.
Soon enough, both of you discovered that amorous tingling sensation deep inside your hearts and the only way to express it out is to confess the greatest feeling one can ever imagine and that is by saying "you are falling". "Falling" big word. The last time I adore the word was with the song "Total eclipse of my heart" by Bonnie Tyler. "Once upon a time I was falling in love but I now I'm only falling apart"- such a powerful lyrics for a broken heart.
Now, you were confused of your feeling. Pretending to ask questions and pretending to answer it. You quipped, felt the same way and loved in exchange of love. You glowed together, had great time and great sex. You ventured as lovers to strange places and showed affection to each other in the eyes of strangers. You confess your love and admit it. You vow for an unconditional love and certainly, the reply was love without condition.
The excitement rushed as you first hold her hands, closed your eyes, and tendered your lips towards her. Sweetest, you describe. Unending as you wish. Then, in many occasions, the familiar becomes unfamiliar. The obvious now became obscure. You fight and mend, you cry and laugh, you were broke and you were fixed.
Then, one day, you woke with tears in your eyes. To your confusion, you tried to recall what happened and when your sober self recalled, the night ended in lost. Either you broke-up with her or she does, but, just the same, that thin line of hopeless love snaps. What was once a hopeful dream of marriage and children crumbled. None of you was left behind as both you took opposing paths.
Now, you're broken. In tears, I assume. In despair, I suspect. That once feeling you adore has now morphed into an ill-feeling, a structured hate as both of you betrayed the promises of your love. So, how? How do you expect yourself to heal in what seems to be an immortal wound? How can you breathe for life, if your heart was taken away? How will you ever search for answers, when you do not know the questions?
The immediate relief, perhaps, may not be a glass of wine or a bottle of beer because you drown yourself, bathe yourself, and intoxicate yourself with alcohol. What cure can it bring if it soothes only a temporary ease of a heavy heart. You do things according to textbooks. You travel, you drink, perhaps, meet new dates, you do this and that to bury that undeniable sickness within you. You swear, curse, shout, you say things if only to throw up the feelings you had.
You want to escape, maybe, even think of dying. Death is no love and when you can love again, death is not an option. By the time you've done crying and become sober, realize that what left you is the physical being of you "ex". Your ability to love did not leave you as it will remain and will ever be.
Love, my dear, did not leave you. Love remains the same and the probability of loving again is undoubtedly certain. You do not stage a wake of your dead feelings. It's done and gone. Do not languish in sadness and sorrow. Do not regret.
Do not feel defeated, but if you feel it then let it be. But, remind yourself that you are to win love. Your break-up is just another story to tell, another lesson to learn, another opportunity to find the purest love.
Do not treat your break-up as the darkest, morbid chapter of your life. Life is supposed to be lived in happiness. Be glad that you left a life where there can only be an unhappy love. Like a tree chopped off of its stem, be strong to fight back and love again.
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